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Home Ed Group

For the last two weeks we have been atending a home education group. It meets up at a village hall approximately 20 miles from where we live every thursday. We met some lovely families there and it really did instill a lot of confidence in me that home education is something that can work - and hopefully work for us. I am becoming a lot more confident about telling people when I used to dread the subject arising. That said I do still go for the easy option when I speak to some people. My four-year old is due to start school in september and as he is fairly tall and nearly 4 and a half now we get asked practically on a daily basis by anyone from a tumble tots instructor to the library assistant to the local vicar (we had him round the other evening to arrange the baby's Christening) questions such as, "Do you go to school now Finn?", "When do you start school", "Do you go to nursery?". A lot of the time I still reply, "He is due to start school in September" and "No he isn't at nursery as he does a lot of other activities: tumble tots, tennis and swimming". It just seems easier to say that rather than tell them we plan to home school which will inevitably lead on to more questions. That said, I bumped into a mum from my mums and tots group who I hadn't seen in around three years today: she asked if Finn was at pre-school and what school I had chosen for him. I told her that he didn't do pre-school and told her the school choices that we made last year and then said, "but I plan to home-educate him - at least for the first year anyway". So now I am getting more confident in telling people but adding that we may just do it as a trial for the first year. I don't really think that will be the case - I want to home educate for as long as it works for us all - and I guess I'm hoping it will work and that they will never go to school unless they want to. But the truth is I really don't know how it is going to work for us. At the moment it works quite well. I think Finn will be quite academic: he has a brilliant memory and is always happy to learn and some days it is difficult to get him away from the TV and sit and do some "school work" but once I have his attention he will happily sit and do writing, sums, practice reading, drawing etc. for a good hour. He also loves stories at bedtime and is currently having The Magic Faraway Tree books being read to him (usually by daddy) at bedtime. He is happy to lie and listen and imagine it all in his mind as there are only a few sketches in the book. He loves books and knows all the alphabet now (and most of the phonetic sounds) so I'm sure when the time is right he will start to read. I have no idea how home education will work for my other two though. Jacob is very energetic and has a very short attention span - he is only 2 so this is quite normal - but I just cannot imagine him ever sitting down and listening to me teach him anything as he has always been very independent (baby-led weaned as has never let me feed him) and totally different to his big brother. That said he picked up potty training a lot quicker than his big brother I think mainly due to observing his big brother use the toilet. So hopefully he will follow suit and want to learn things like his brother.

Anyway, we went along to this group and it was lovely to meet lots of other families that home educate. The only problem was that it lasts all day and it was just a bit too long for me and my three. Most of the other children are a fair bit older and all the activites that are set up each week are largely for over sevens. This meant that my two boys spent the whole day playing with toy cars in the baby area and then making paper aeroplanes with some of the other young children. They had fun but the session was just too long for them when that was all there was for them to do. So we've decided that we will go back to this group when they are a bit older and can actually take part in some of the activities. In may we will find out if Finn has got into his first choice school and I'm dreading it as it will be time to decide. The thing is we have decided but I don't want getting this form throught the post to change my mind and make me doubt if I am doing the best thing. It is so difficult to know as a parent if you are doing the right thing though when all other parents around you are sending their kids to school. Do you follow the pack or be brave and dare to do something different because you believe it is (hopefully) the best for your child?

Home Schooling :)

In the last few weeks I have finally come to the conclusion that as of September I will home school my 4-year old.

I haven't heard about whether he has been accepted into the schools that we chose last year (when I still hadn't decided), and now I actually feel like I don't want to know. I always said to my husband that if he only got into our third choice school then we should definitely home school - yet if he were to get into our first choice then I was worried that I'd feel confused again as to what was the best thing to do. However, the last few days have appeared to bolster my plan to home school, at least in my mind anyway. One thing that occured this week was when my 4-year old went to his tennis class. He goes there with around a dozen other children ranging from age 4-8, and two of his friends that he has known since they were babies (from a mums and tots group). Well, he has always got on very well with these two friends, but this week he came home and told me that they had been running away from him saying, "we're not playing with you". It made me feel so sad for him but told him that they were just being silly and that he should try and ignore it. Incidentally these two children go to the same small pre-school (linked to the small village school that is our first choice) and seem to largely just play with eachother when they go to pre-school, which is why I think they were being like that with my son. I think that maybe they are so used to playing with just eachother that they don't want to include anyone else and I think that is possibly an example of the institutionalisation that can take place within school environments - which laughs in the face of those who believe that their children are attending school in order to socialise.

We also went to one of my son's friend's birthday party this week. It was a nice party held at the local leisure centre with a room of soft play and there were over a dozen four-year olds there and younger siblings. What I found interesting to observe was the way all the four-year old boys were very hyperactive and almost veering on the violent with one another. I remember my brother and his friends being like this when they were around seven years old and I think it is quite normal but I didn't realise that four-year old were like this because my son isn't. His "best friend" (in his words) is three weeks younger than him and one of the children that we've known since he was a newborn from the mums and tots group. They get on very well but what I'm observing more and more is how they play lovely with the train track or cars but then said friend wants to play wrestling or pretend guns and my son just wants to carry on with the trains and cars and doesn't seem to "get" the fighting games. I wonder if it is something that occurs more if the child goes to nursery or pre-school. I don't think it is necessarily a bad thing as they are only play fighting but I just found it interseting to note that my son is the only one that doesn't go to a nursery or pre-school and he was the only one not "fighting" at this party. And that is not to say that he is not sociable as he is a real chatterbox and not at all shy. I think it is actually a great thing though that he doesn't just follow the pack and engage in the play fighting just because that is what everyone else is doing. I'm good friends with his friend's mum and she said to me at the party that she's always telling people about her friend who has three children who are so happy and well-behaved and and how we are planning to home school - which she says she thinks is a wonderful thing to do ("you're so patient and just a natural, unlike me," she said). I felt really surprised that she thought that about me as I don't think I'm anymore patient than anyone else really and I never thought my children were that well-behaved ("you should see us at home", I said!). But it was nice to hear someone say that about us.

Anyway, these were just a few things that have been on my mind and have helped me to believe more and more that we are doing the right thing by deciding to home school. So...watch this space!

Thankful Friday

I have borrowed this idea from another blog that I follow and I think it is a nice idea: to log every Friday all the things you are thankful for. It makes you appreciate all you have in your life that is good and helps if you are feeling a bit negative. This time of year I am automatically feeling a bit down. Partly I think to do with the weather: lack of sunshine and cold dark nights, but also because I am reminded of my mum even more so than usual at this time of year. It was at the beginning of December three years ago that she was taken into hospital (four and a half weeks before she then passed away). It has put a permanent damper on Christmas for me really. I used to really love Christmas and I still like it and know that it will still be a nice time of year for me (having three children certainly makes it fun) but it will always remind me of my mum. Today we had some bad news, my husband's uncle (his Dad's twin brother) died. He was sixty three and had bowel cancer. It is really sad, especially for the close family that he leaves behind and that has brought back a lot of memories for me about my mum today. It seems that when you lose something in your life it helps a bit to look at what you do have in your life so I thought that I would do a thankful Friday post today.

This week I am thankful for:

- Three lovely healthy children who make me proud and happy every day and a wonderful husband.

- Hot drinks - hot chocolate, tea and coffee have helped warm me up in these freezing weather conditions we are currently experiencing.

- The boys "after-school" clubs - gym bobs, tennis and swimming they really enjoy them and I feel they are really productive.

- Friends: they can make you feel so much better after a cup of tea and chat.

- Knitting: my therapeutic past-time that I enjoy doing in the evening when the four-month old will let me!

-Amazon.co.uk: I order loads of stuff from here and I love the fact that I can actually get nearly anything I need from there. I recently ordered a toy from there that I couldn't find anywhere else when I searched the net!

- Chocolate!

The list could go on really, but I'll leave it at that for now.

Halloween 1990 vs. Halloween 2010

This year I went trick or treating for the first time in approximately 20 years! I went with the kids for their benefit (obviously!) but was surprised at how much fun I had! The last time I went trick or treating was circa 1990. Back then the supermarkets in this country hadn't jumped on the band wagon selling all sorts of paraphanelia from pumpkin costumes for babies to skull-shaped drinking goblets: it was no way as commercial as it is now and more up to you to improvise at home.

So the last time I went trick or treating I was most likely a witch, dressed-up in a black skirt of my mum's, a black jumper, a bin bag as a cape, some black face paint as lipstick and a homemade cardboard witch's hat. My brother was most likely a ghost (a white sheet with eyes cut-out) or a scary monster: dressed in black clothes with a simple scary mask. Once we were dressed-up we would venture out with a carrier bag (most likely Sainsbury's or Tesco) to collect our treats in and a scary rubber spider or snake as the 'trick'. I remember a lot of the kids in our village would use eggs as their 'trick', we never had any thrown at us on our doorstep but most mornings after the night of Halloween we would find remnants of egg and shell on our driveway. As for the 'treats', I remember one lady being totally unaware that it was Halloween and she said all she had was some biscuits and so we got a digestive each! I also remember one lady giving us a small box of cereal each! The rest I think gave us sweets of some kind, but what I do remember is having to work a bit more for our treats: a lot of the people that did open their doors (and some didn't) expected a trick before they would give the treat! This year when I went out I noticed that all the people that answered the doors were there with a bowl of goodies already in-hand.

My children this year were dressed as skeletons (and the baby was a pumpkin but she fell asleep before we were due to go out so she stayed st home with daddy!). All their outfits were purchased on-line from a well-known retailer (Tesco!) along with Halloween pumpkin buckets to collect their treats in and even a bat torch to take out with them. We went around our Close first and then ventured around the rest of the housing development. We quickly realised that the best houses to go to were the ones with pumpkins outside - as this gave the message that they were entering into the spirit of Halloween! There were some amazing scenes: one house had two huge pumpkins (home-grown) with excellent carvings; another house had lights illuminating cobwebs all over the house and when they opened the door the adults were all dressed-up and music was blaring - they were obviously having a party ! Another house had fake legs and arms hanging from their front door with fake blood and hand prints on the windows! I was truly amazed as to how much effort some people had gone to! My four-year old and two-year old absolutely loved it. It became a real game to run around looking for the next house with a pumpkin, and there was a fight for who got to ring the bell or knock on the door first! They both came home with a bucket nearly full of treats and they both slept like logs that night! Although I don't necssarily agree with all the commercialness of Halloween these days I think it is probably more fun than it was in my day!!

A nice surprise made me think about my life

I was just nosing on the news updates of my "friends" on facebook this evening (as usual) when up pops my friend of 15 years that I haven't spoken to for a while for a chat. It was a lovely surprise as she is currently on a university course in Finland for a few months and I haven't seen her for a few years now. We were best friends when we were 16 which seems like a long time ago now. Back then we were both very similar. We were both going through similar problems and hence we built up a good friendship. The funny thing is that she doesn't seem to have changed much and is still doing higher education courses and not yet settled down/had kids. Compared to me who has been married 5 years (and in serious relationship with my now-husband for 9 years previous to our marriage); now have 3 kids and haven't been in higher education for 10 years! In some ways when I think about it I envy her: the carefreeness (is that a word?!) of being single, only having yourself to worry about - going out drinking, having a laugh, doing what you want when you want. But then on the other hand I remember when I was like that and I often felt lonely like my life was lacking something. Having the responsibility of three children is not easy, but I enjoy it. I am often stressed, I worry too much, I am always tired, I sometimes get angry and sometimes I feel very sad and emotional (which is to do with losing my mum)...and I cry and feel sorry for myself...but I also feel happy, content and grateful that I have three gorgeous children and a wonderful husband and I feel fulfilled - like I have achieved what I wanted in my life. I still feel like there are things I want to do - but I think it is essential to have goals otherwise life would be very depressing. I am happy with my life at this moment in time...and I guess that is all that matters. (pics of my 3 gorgeous kids xxx)

A few spare minutes (would be nice!)

I don't do blogs half as regularly as I would like. I simply do not have the time. When I sit down I am either feeding the baby, eating a meal or checking my emails/facebook: they are about the only times I sit down these days. When I do think about doing a new post I always feel there should be something important to report but I have been thinking and maybe I will just do short posts as often as I can otherwise weeks pass without me updating.

So today Primrose has been for her first lot of jabs. That was four hours ago and she is still not asleep - grumbling and shaking her legs about in her bouncer chair while watching C-beebies! The boys have high temperatures and runny noses :( Jacob has gone down for a nap and Finn is just chilling out on the sofa, but keeps pestering me for a go on the the c-beebies website. I should feel less stressed today as they are not on their full-form full-of-beans hyper moods, yet I feel on edge as Primrose won't settle and just wants me to pick her up all the time. In the meantime I am trying to do a mountain of washing (Finn wet the bed - the double ('big bed' as he calls it) last night just after I had put clean sheets on as well :( He goes to bed in our room and then Dave transfers him to his bed when we go to bed); tidy the kitchen; tidy-up toys and vacuum and countless other little things like nappy-changing and meal preparation. Then in the evening I am knitting (got loads to do - sister-in-law is due in a few weeks and have some birthdays and Christmas coming up so I want to do some gifts for my nieces). Well, Primrose has worked up to a proper cry now so I will have to leave it there. I will post some pics soo of the boys birthday party that we had last weekend!