Saturday 2 October 2010

A nice surprise made me think about my life







I was just nosing on the news updates of my "friends" on facebook this evening (as usual) when up pops my friend of 15 years that I haven't spoken to for a while for a chat. It was a lovely surprise as she is currently on a university course in Finland for a few months and I haven't seen her for a few years now. We were best friends when we were 16 which seems like a long time ago now. Back then we were both very similar. We were both going through similar problems and hence we built up a good friendship. The funny thing is that she doesn't seem to have changed much and is still doing higher education courses and not yet settled down/had kids. Compared to me who has been married 5 years (and in serious relationship with my now-husband for 9 years previous to our marriage); now have 3 kids and haven't been in higher education for 10 years! In some ways when I think about it I envy her: the carefreeness (is that a word?!) of being single, only having yourself to worry about - going out drinking, having a laugh, doing what you want when you want. But then on the other hand I remember when I was like that and I often felt lonely like my life was lacking something. Having the responsibility of three children is not easy, but I enjoy it. I am often stressed, I worry too much, I am always tired, I sometimes get angry and sometimes I feel very sad and emotional (which is to do with losing my mum)...and I cry and feel sorry for myself...but I also feel happy, content and grateful that I have three gorgeous children and a wonderful husband and I feel fulfilled - like I have achieved what I wanted in my life. I still feel like there are things I want to do - but I think it is essential to have goals otherwise life would be very depressing. I am happy with my life at this moment in time...and I guess that is all that matters. (pics of my 3 gorgeous kids xxx)

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