Tonsillitus :(

My poor tot has tonsillitus. It began with a high temperature of over 39 degrees and often reaching 40 at night. He has been sleeping in our bed and it is like old times when he would sleep with us every night until his little brother arrived. I resisted taking him to the GP as they always tell you it's viral and it stresses me out always having to wait at least half an hour to be seen. It got to Friday afternoon and he the temperature wasn't going dwn even with 10ml of Calpol every 4 hours so I rang the surgery. I spoke to my GP and she surprised me by saying that it probably ISN'T a virus with a temperature over 39 - more likely to be bacterial. So then I was kicking myself for not having taken him down there before the appiontments had finished. So saturday morning we took him to the out-of-hours place and they confirmed my suspisions of tonsillitus. There had been no other symptoms except the high temperature and lethargy but we noticed that every time he tried to eat anything such as toast or bread he was gagging and I asked him if it hurt when he swallowed to which he said yes. Anyway, we got the penicillin so I was pleased that we got it treated quickly this time - unlike when baby had pneumonia and it took them nearly 2 weeks to figure it out and give the anti-biotics. They are so reluctant to give out anti-biotics these days and just blame it on viruses all the time, it really frustrates me. The only problem we have not is trying to get the stuff down toddler. We had a screaming incident this morning where I ended up pinning him to the floor and he ended up with half of it on his face. For some reason he will take it when his daddy administers it to him. This is what he is like with a lot of things. Like learning for example. When I try and teach him the alphabet or counting he will sometimes be interested but more often than not will not want to know and will walk away fromme to go and play with his toys. Yet when daddy tries with him he always seems more responsive. It doesn't bother me that much, it is just that as I am planning to homeschool I don't know how it is going to work if he will not listen to me. Anyway, I guess I just keep persevering and concentrate on getting my tot back to full health for now.

Annual photo 2009

I got the idea to do an annual photo of us all from a blog by an Argentinian man who did this every year of him and his wife and kids and it is just amazing to watch the kids faces change as the years go on. When I find the link to this blog will put it on here. Anyway, I thought it was a
wonderful ideal so we've decided we'll take a photo of all of us on July 1st every year. I also thought that if we do end up home-schooling then we will not get the habitual annual school photos so it will be nice to re-create this ourselves.

Tots Tennis

Tot is doing a tennis course with two of his friends, Jake and India. It is more running around and being silly than actual tennis but he loves it! He is getting quite good at volleying and is just starting to do forehand. I always loved tennis and so I thought I would try and get the boys into it to, and so far he seems to like it! I have a photo of him with his racket and will post this too when I find it.

Tumble Tots

Tot has been doing Tumble Tots for 3 weeks now and he absolutely loves it! That may be helped by the fact that one of his best friend's, India, goes too. She has done it since she could walk and her mum would go around the apparatus with her. From the age of 3 they do it on their own and parents wait in the bar area of the football clubhouse where it is held. I was a bit nervous about this to begin with as I have never left him at a nursery or anything like this before (he used to be looked after by his Nana and then his Grandma for two or three days a week when I worked but I have never been worried about leaving him with family). Anyway, even on the first week he ran in and didn't give me a second glance! And I've noticed a difference in his physical development already: he is more confident at climbing things already! We are still waiting for postman pat to bring him his Tumble Tots T-shirt but when it arrives I will post a photo of him wearing it!

Playgroup

Just got back from playgroup - and for once we didn't have an episode that ended in tot getting hurt and crying. When I say hurt - not real hurt - just knocked over, although one week he did have a slight bruise on his arm. I'm not the kind of mother who wraps their kids up in cotton wool (well, if I did then they wouldn't go to the play group in the first place I suppose) but I always keep an eye out for them when they go to these baby and toddler get-togethers. The problem is that there are two boys who are a year older than tot (which is quite a lot when you are only 3!) and they are deliberately picking on him. It makes me feel so angry but because it is a parent-organised group it is difficult for me to say or do anything to change the way these terrors are: all I can do is protect my boys by being there to keep an eye that no harm comes to them. A few weeks ago I voluteered to do the teas and coffees as the mum that used to do it left as her son was starting school. So the problem started then. These boys are devious little monsters that look around to see if an adult is watching before racing around with a trike and deliberately ploughing into another child. They go to the pre-school (but still go to the playgroup too) and apparently they are completely different kids there: they behave because they know they have to. A few of tot's friends have stopped coming as they now go to pre-school so it seems like he has lost his comrades and these boys really are picking on him. When they see him one of them will say, "there he is" and they will go after him. One week I told tot that they were naughty boys and that he should ignore them - however, he is at the age where he is getting very chatty yet no inhibition and so he goes along to the playgroup saying to them, " You are the naughty boys"! As children do at that age they then started to call him a naughty boy, so that now when they see him they say "there he is, the naughty boy" which gets tot all upset. Last week one of their mums saw them hurt tot and she came and told me in the kitchen and apologised and got the boy to say sorry to tot. I was contemplating not going back but then I thought why should we when if it wasn't for those two both my boys would have a lovely time. Anyway, today I got tot sitting down at the craft table colouring in while I did the tea and coffees. He was happy to sit there until I had finished and came to join him. Only when I took him and the baby into the main play area would he venture into it though and he is normally so confident. But today we had no tears and they seemed to enjoy themselves. I just felt nervous the whole time though always having to watch out so we shall have to see how things turn out as to whether we carry on going there.

My baby is 1 and my tot is 3!

This week my baby turned 1! He is now nearly a toddler rather than a baby and this makes me sad :( I'm thinking more and more about baby number 3 now but it doesn't seem to be happening at the moment despite me cutting their feeds down to bedtime only. Anyway, baby turned one this week and tot turned 3 last week and to celebrate we had a party with all their family and friends in our garden at the weekend. We had a ball pit and their aunty and uncle kindly bought them a slide as a joint present. There was party food and Thomas the Tank Engine cake for baby and Henry Tank Engine for tot (which I made - had been stressing over them for weeks but they turned out okay - not perfect - but good enough for the tots to be happy with them!). It was a lovely day but I am only regretful of one thing: that I didn't try and enjoy more of it. I guess this is difficult to do if you want to be the perfect hostess! I was in the kitchen practically all day preparing food, getting drinks (coffee orders were high due to my nice new Gaggia!) and tidying up. At the end of the day I had to ask my husband if tot had played well with his friends and he had to fill me in on what happened for most of the afternoon out in the garden as I was so pre-occupied doing things. I wish I could have spent more time enjoying the moment with everyone. So I will have to come up with a better plan for next year! At least everyone else had a good time though and the two stars of the show had a ball so that's the main thing!

The little sweet shop

There is a little unit just up from the High Street where we live that had intrigued me for a while - ever since we moved here three years ago I suppose. When you walk past it you can see big bags and boxs of sweets. The sort of sweets that I remember as "penny sweets" from my childhood, or "pick'n'mix" as my son would call them. I presumed that it was a wholesale warehouse that supplied shops etc. The windows have shutters up and there is no sign across the building or "open" sign on the door: nothing to suggest that it is the sort of place that the public could just walk in off the street into. Anyway, one day I was passing it as we were on a late-afternoon walk - boys both in the buggy as they were tired but refusing to nap. As I approached the building I noticed children running in and coming out with little paper bags of sweets. So I got the boys out of the buggy and in we went. I have just finished reading Roald Dahl's "The Giraffe, The Pelly and Me" to tot and it sort of reminded me of a Dahl novel. Tot's eyes lit up as he saw the vast array of penny sweets sitting there in little tubs. There were shrimps; white mice; fizzy bubblegum bottles; fish n chips; cola bottles; jelly babies; flying saucers; beer bottles; midget gems; wine gums; cherry cola bottles; fried eggs to name a few! There was an old man with a long grey beard and bizarely a baseball cap who was very friendly and helped tot pick out "50 pence worth of sweeties". It took me back to my childhood when our Dad used to take us to the corner shop in the next village (as our village shop didn't open on a sunday in those days) and he would let us get 20 pence worth - which meant 20 sweets, I think it was the highlight of our week! It has made me realise that it is the little things that matter as a child: the fun things that they do as a routine - weekly trip to the sweet shop; weekly swimming session; afternoon in the park; playing with friends in the back garden; a trip to McDonald's; stories at bedtime, it is these little things that I remember from childhood more so than big events such as birthdays or summer holidays. So even though I don't really want to encourage my boys to eat lots of sweets I just love the sentiment behind this little "sweet shop"!

Another virus for my poor baby

Today we went to the GPs with baby - again. He had a high temperature the last day of our holiday and for a few days after that. He also had a runny nose and was off his food. I was not overly concerned about this but last night he started to develop a rash all over his torso. By now his temperature had returned to normal and I did the glass test with the spots - so wasn't worried it was meningitis. Anyway, this morning the rash looked worse as it had creeped up to his neck and forehead, so I took him to the doctors. The diagnosis was that it is just a virus and therefore they cannot prescribe anything. She said she had seen another baby this week with exactly the same symptoms, so it is obviously doing the rounds whatever it is. It is very frustrating when they say this because it's like you just want them to give you some magic cream to make it all better again! But at least I got peace of mind that it is nothing serious.

The grass is always greener...

I would love to be able to post better written blogs on here. I used to want to be a writer and when I read back my blogs I really don't feel they have much of a writing style to them. I am finding this very difficult to achieve for two reasons: 1). when I try and get the blogs written in the day I either have tot in one ear waffling on, asking me questions etc. or baby whining to be picked up/fed etc. and so I just try and get to the point and get the blog done as soon as possible and 2). By the time I have them both asleep in bed in the evenings it is getting on for 9pm and all I want to do is lie in front of the TV with a cup of tea and some chocolate cake! I used to love reading but again for these reasons I do not find the time to do this either - unless I have the motivation and energy in the evenings. I know I should not complain as they are not little for long. I will have plenty of time to sit on a laptop recording my every thought when they have all flown the nest - and of course then I will probably sit there and wish I could go back to the days when they were babies. I guess it is true that the grass is always greener on the other side.

Center Parcs

I'm now a Center Parcs fan. We had decided to do a mid-week break there as we had already been to Cornwall at the beginning of the summer. We tend to do two separate holidays each for a week as it breaks up work a bit more fo hubby. As much as I love a beach holiday to Menorca or such place we decided to stay in this country this year due to Jacob being so small - well, really more to do with not being able to find a good deal on a villa or apartment as it would be a nightmare to all try to sleep in a hotel room (as we did with Finn last year). Anyway, we went for Center Parcs as we were able to get a 2-bedroom woodland lodge which meant the boys had to share a room - but it worked out fine really. I think there was only one night when baby woke up - screamed - woke toddler up - who also screamed! This was the last night and baby had a roaring temperature (I think he got some sort of infection from going swimming every day - is okay now) and tot was so tired from all the days activities that he fell asleep without dinner and so woke up as he was hungry (normally not even a screaming baby wakes him when he is really tired!). Anyway, the park was great. We went swimming every day and cycling and walking around the lake. Tot had a great time on all the adventure play areas and at the kids disco (he is not shy at all and it is so lovely to watch his emerging personality). We also went ten-pin bowling and had a few drinks at the bar (drinking mojitos reminded me of my pre-mum days as I usually only drink red wine!). As a present for my 30th my mother in law treated me to a pampering day at the spa there. This was great and I really wish I could do that every week as a time-out from the kids (but at £38 a time this would work out rather expensive!). So all in all we all had a lovely time and are already talking about going back there!

A wonderful surprise...

It's official. I am now 30. I am not going to get depressed about it, but it does sound so much older than 29! It is of course only a number and you are only as old as you feel: which some days for me I am still a teenager and some days I am well into my thirties or older! So for my birthday I went to the seaside with my hubby and boys. We all had a lovely time, especially tot who was 'pretending' to fall over as he paddled in the sea and was up to his neck in it and loving it by the end of it, while babe and hubby enjoyed making sandcastles.

For my birthday hubby bought me a steamer. I was very pleased with this as I needed a new one and I didn't expect anything else big as he had bought me a new coffee machine for our 4th wedding anniversary at the beginning of the month. Anyway, the steamer had been sat on the table for a day and a half when hubby asked if I was going to try it out soon. I had some broccoli to steam that evening so in a hurry as I was preparing dinner the evening after my birthday I grabbed the box to get out the steamer. Imagine my surprise as I opened the box and noticed another small box - the sort of small box that can only contain a ring or earrings with a message, "Your real birthday present" written on it! I opened the box to reveal a beautiful gold band studded with seven diamonds. An eternity ring from my wonderful husband. It was quite easily the best birthday surprise ever!

Landun

We took the boys on their first trip to London - or "Landun" as tot amusingly says! He loved every minute of it, particularly the train ride and "underground ernie"! We went to Hamleys and the Natural History and Science Museums. It was excellent and hope to do it again soon although it was very tiring. I used to think museums were a bit boring when I was a child but I'm so glad that tot is totally fascinated with them. As I'm thinking more and more about home schooling I think about how museums are just totally excellent for this. I think they would learn more from a day in a museum than they would in a week sat in a classroom at school.

It's not a competition...

Recently tot has become obsessed with the idea of winning. Whether it be sitting on the potty or running down the street, everything has become a race where "I won!" is always the outcome! I don't know where he has got this competitiveness as I'm not aware that we have encouraged it, but I don't necessarily think it is a bad thing. His friend that goes to pre-school had a sports day this summer where "everyone was a winner" and everyone got a prize whether they ran the fastest or the slowest. I think that this is really nice for little ones as they would get upset if they see their friends get prizes and they don't. However, I think a bit of competition is healthy and reflects real-life and the whole "everyone's a winner" philosophy is sometimes a bit too politically correct for my liking. I remember sports days as a child: I remember losing and seeing other girls with loads of badges while I had none and this just gave me more motivation to do better. I will always remember coming first in the obstacle race one year (I shooted the netball in first time before everyone else) and I remember how proud I felt as my mum and dad were there watching me win!

Yesterday tot totally surprised us with the phrase, "it's not a competition!" This is probably the biggest word that he has said out-right with no prompting or copying from us and we were very impressed! His speech has come on so much in the last few weeks. He is forming proper sentences now, it is quite amazing. He says too much to note it all down but these are some examples:

"Mummy, there's a little zip on this cushion" is what he has just said to me as he sits next to me on the sofa watching Rainbow!

"What's patterned to that?" (patterned is happened!)
"What me doing now?"
"What's this tiny thing?"
"I have an idea" (from Dora the Explorer)
"It's not funny/It's a bit funny" (from Peppa Pig)
"Mummy broke bath, ask Grandpa to get new one from shop" (I broke the plastic panel on the bath and told him that Grandpa would be able to get us a new one, and days later he was still saying this when he saw the bath!). His memory for little details is quite amazing. Like how he remembers all the Thomas engines - has done this for a long time now. Most of the engines have numbers as well so it has helped him learn his numbers too.

Other cute things that he does:

Instead of yesterday he says "last morning"!

When he comes out the front door he stands there and says, "Welcome to Fintan's!"!

He has wonderful facial expressions (again learnt mainly I think from Thomas and friends). He can do puzzled where one eye shuts more than the other and he has a lop-sided smile - I think this one is the funniest, and there is also angry, happy and sad faces!

This week he had his play food out and he was playing with it quietly in the lounge and asked me to come through from the kitchen and told me he had made lunch for me : he had put some pretend carrot, tomato and bread in a bowl for me - so sweet! He picks up books on his own now and pretends he can read them and tried to get Jacob to sit down and listen the other day saying "Sit down Jacob, I'm going to read a story"! He is such a sweet boy and totally astounds and amuses me every day.

8 Things I Loved This Week

1). Taking the boys to playgroup on monday - they always have a good time, especially tot!
2). Getting our bed back and spending more quality time with hubby!
3). Drinking lots of capuccino from my new Gaggia machine!
4). Going to London - doing the museums and Hamleys - first trip to the big smoke for the little ones! Tot loved the train rides the best!
5). Laughing at some of the phrases tot comes out with these days. A few examples, "That's a good idea", "Bit busy at the moment", "That makes sense"! I laugh and think what a funny thing for a toddler to say and then realise that he is just repeating things he has heard me say!
6). My Nikon D40 - has produced many wonderful shots of my family that I will cherish forever.
7). Having coffee with my mum and tots group. They are my only friends in a 30 mile radius and enjoy spending time nattering with them while watching our little ones play with eachother.
8). Swimming. In fact this should have been at number one as it is my favourite thing ever at the moment. I have been taking the boys twice a week this summer and going three times a week on my own in the evenings. The boys love it and so do I!

Some of Aunty Mel's amazing pics from the weekend at Stowe

Tot's new hair cut

It's a boy!

Just found out today that I am going to have a little nephew in December! I am so pleased for my brother and dad as this will keep the family name going. I am also pleased for my two boys as it will be their first boy cousin. I now have visions of many happy summer holidays together at the cottage in Cornwall.

Just a quick one today as the little crabs are asleep and I need to sweep and wash the floor and try and tidy the lounge a bit before they wake as we have a neighbour popping around for coffee tomorrow. She has a tot the same age as mine and as of yet we haven't really chatted properly or given the boys an opportunity to be play mates - apart from a chance meet at an outdoor play area a few months back. That was when we agreed we should meet up and so when I saw them at the leisure centre at the weekend I invited them to ours this week. I hope that it will perhaps be the start of a friendship for me and tot as they seem like a lovely family and would be ideal when the boys get older and want to play out as they live at the top of our close. Anyway, the mop and bucket beckon!!

Continuum

I have stopped feeding during the day this week. My baby is 10-months old now, crawling and eating three meals a day. He was having a quick milk feed mid-morning and mid-afternoon just to get him off to sleep really. I have tried replacing this with a little formula milk but he is not at all keen on this so I just try to keep him topped-up with fluids during the day with well-diluted juice - which he will drink when thirsty. He is constipated though and has been for weeks despite the fluids and frest fruit so I went to the pharmacy and got him some lactulose yesterday - which is still yet to have an effect as I have only been giving him very small amounts. So he now has a milk feed at bedtime and in the morning. Tot still has his bedtime feed (need to get out of this habit - he is 3 soon - have no idea how though without upsetting him) but he has cut out his morning one and the ocassional afternoon one now. For a few months now I have been thinking about number three. A few weeks ago I started feeling really broody with friends and family announcing that they are expecting and decided to try and cut down the feeding to re-start ovulation. Then I though back to Liedloff's Continuum Concept that I read recently and how in modern society we are in such a hurry with getting our baby to move on to the next stage of development: weaning onto solids as soon as possible; urging them to crawl and proudly commenting how it won't be long before they are walking. It made me realise just how much my baby has grown and changed in just 10 months, and it made me realise how I should try and live in the moment more and enjoy this time instead of urging him to become more independent. So I sat back and thought about it and decided that I should try and let him take the lead more and let him decide when it is time. He has adapted well to no milk during the day as he only really used it as a comfort to get to sleep. I still find this really hard though as I have always just gone with demand feeding all the time with both my boys (hence the reason why my nearly 3-year old is still being breatfed at bedtimes!), so this part of it feels a little like I am going against the continuum. However, with everything else I have let him take the lead: he has decided to be spoon-fed after being baby-led for the first few months. He is therefore eating a really good amount now. He has decided to crawl and is trying the cruising out and he is happy to go down in his cot through the night now after 9 months of sleeping with mummy and dadddy. Now that he has made these changes reecently it does make me feel like he is almost not a baby anymore and entering into the realms of toddlerhood. This has again made me think about number three so I have decided that I will try and cut the milk down, but not so much that it is denying my boys of what they still need. This feels like a bit of a challenge sometimes but I just keep reminding myself of the continuum concept and trying not to compare myself to others or get irrational just because I am turning 30 this year and feel like time is running out! I really want to "talk in present tenses" to quote a Joni Mitchell song but I find this so difficult as I am a worrier and a bit of a control-freak!

My two naughty little crabs

My pirate tot

Busy day...

...as my tot says to me every night as I take him to bed...

Today has been totally manic - and it hasn't helped with hubby going to Dublin for the day. This meant that he left early in the morning and will return very late this evening - which means I have had no help with the boys' bedtime routines. I am pleased to say though that I got them both fed, bathed and in bed just before 7pm! This was only because tot did not have his nap though and actually fell asleep in front of his beloved Cars DVD!



Anyway, despite being absolutely nackerd we did have a good day. We went swimming this morning and then had lunch at the cafe there (even though it is only a short walk home, it is less hassle for me rather than going home and preparing sandwiches etc. when the breakfast bowls and cups are still sitting on the table!). By the time we got home baby was asleep and so tot helped me tidy up the lounge ready for the mum and tots coffee morning tomorrow. Then we went out for a walk to the local shop - on the pretense of getting tot off to sleep. Tot ate two Fudge bars and baby ate one and they were both still wide awake by the time we got home. So we got home and pottered about and the boys played in the garden for a while before dinner time. Then it was bath time and then I had to put tot in front of his favourite DVD while I took baby to bed. This involves lying down to feed him for at least half an hour before transferring him to his cot (which sometimes causes crying and so the Radiohead CD goes on!). Then it was downstairs to get tot to take him to bed. He was already asleep on the sofa so I just carried him up to bed. Finally I sat down with my dinner ready for the soaps! Then baby wakes up, so I have to go and give him a bit more milk to try and get him off again. Downstairs again for about 10 minutes before toddler wakes up and realises he hasn't had his bedtime milk (did I mention how I am trying to cut down milk feeds - don't know how I'm going to do that :( ) so I have to lie down with him for a little while until he drifts off. Now FINALLY I have the rest of the evening to myself - hopefully! It is such hard work being a mum, but I can't imagine my life without them.

A trip down memory lane on a rainy day

Woke up at 7.30am this morning to baby grumbling in his cot. He went down around 7pm so he did really well. I go into the nursery, pick him up and take him back to bed with me for a milk feed. Tot is already downstairs playing with trains (the only thing he is into at the moment) with daddy before he has to sneak out the door to work. Normally as soon as hubby is out the door and tot realises he is alone he will start calling for us and come up the stairs and jump into bed with us. Then we all get up and wash and dress and go and get cereal and a hot drink for me (strong coffee this morning - still tired due to a late night gym and swim session!).

Today the weather is very bad for mid July. We had a heat wave back in May/June time but ever since then it has got worse and is just grey and rainy today - although still fairly humid. This is a bit annoying as hubby has gone to London on business and has taken the car - so we are stuck to walking-distance places today. However, we have waterproofs and wellies so we will not let a little rain stop us. We are lucky really where we live as it is a small enough town to make it feel like a village, yet we have lots of amenities. We can go swimming at the leisure centre just up the road, the library, a walk around the reservoir, shops along the high street and the park (if we don't mind soggy swings!). It is really constant at the moment as baby has just started crawling the last few days and so he needs to be kept an eye on even more, and tot has become some chatty and curious lately. As we sit here on the sofa, he watches the TV and every second he is saying, "what's that?", "what's that dog doing?", "what she doing?" and he goes on and on until I give him an answer!

We are watching children's classics on Nick Jr at the moment that I have been Sky + ing as they put them on after tots bedtime. My particular favourite is Rainbow and I love it that tot seems to like it too. It is probably the only children's programme that I will sit and watch as it takes me back to my childhood. I like the idea that even though I don't remember the particular episodes I may actually have watched it as a child and now I am sitting watching the same thing with my children. The great thing is that if Rod, Jane and Freddy get a bit too much then I can just fast forward them! It's funny as although my memory of Rainbow is a little hazy, I distinctly remember finding their song-slot boring and wishing I could fast forward it! The real-life clips where they go out somewhere are great though. It really shows the date of the programme and it is so nostalgic it almost brings a tear to my eye as it inevitably reminds me of my childhood and my mum.

Silence is golden...but there's no rest for the wicked...!

Finally. Peace at last! The house is silent. This week has been quite tiring as I have started going to the gym in the evenings, which means I am still tired when I get my morning wake-up call from tot at around 7am! But last night was even worse. He had a late afternoon nap which meant he wouldn't go to bed. After a lot of messing around and me having to lie with him and give him milk (which I am getting increasingly fed-up with now that he is nearly 3!) I pulled him off and said I had no more milk left and that it was time to go to sleep. As this did not happen I ended up bringing him downstairs as he said he was hungry (I think he just says this though to try and get milk off me). So we went down and I made him toast and marmite and a cup of milk in front of the food channel (hubby tried to find a boring channel so he would fall asleep - which didn't work as he loved the Rick Stein programme as it featured boats and dogs and making a cake!) By 11pm hubby had gone to bed and left me to contend with him. I tidied the kitchen so that it was one less thing to face in the morning while tot was galloping around on his hobby horse one minute then crawling around the kitchen floor with his JCB digger the next. Then the football came out and he kicked it under my legs just as I was walking to the door with a glass of water to take up for bed. I tripped over and the water went everywhere and I swore at him and dragged him up to his bed as I had just about had enough at this point. I always feel so guilty if I swear in front of them - but this is only when I have reached the end of my tether. I gave him his cup of milk and finally after a bit more crying and waking the baby who cried for a while, eventually all were asleep. What I could not believe was how come this morning 7am tot is wide awake a ready to start another day, and now at 3am he has only just gone down for a nap! So at the moment both are asleep after a walk to the shop in the buggy. Meanwhile I'm having a quick sit down with a drink and some chocolate to check e-mails, facebook, do this and then I have to get up and vacuum and wash the floors as I can't do this when they are awake, sometimes I think I must be mad for wanting more!

BBQ time

We had a great action-packed weekend. Even though I love my house I cannot stay in all day and I much prefer to get out and do things. On saturday we went to Wimpole Hall - I just love going to National Trust places (in case you hadn't already guessed!). We all had a lovely time, tot got to play on the play tractors and we also discovered a hidden adventure playground that we didn't see before, and hubby was happy as there was beer tasting!

Yesterday we went to Wicksteed park and then in the evening we had a BBQ in our back garden. We cooked some salmon and tot looked at the fish lying on a plate and said, "Fish gone to clouds". I knew what he was talking about as just the other day I was telling him about Nana dying and going to heaven up in the clouds. So I just agreed and then he said, "Where's Nana?" and it almost made me cry. We explained how she was in heaven in the clouds and that it was like a long holiday where you never come back.

A turning point...

Today I feel more positive about life than I have done in a long time. I think that this is due to a combination of factors:

1). My 9-month old has decided that he wants to sleep through the night on his own in his own cot (previously we had co-sleeped). Therefore I think I am getting more sleep than i have done in a long time!

2). I went swimming on my own last night (without the kids on tow for once, therefore a serious swim was possible!) for the first time in 3 years. Something so simple I know, but whether it be the endorphin rush as a result of the exercise or the feeling of freedom, it has put me on a high!

3). I called my boss (well, ex-boss I should say now) to tell him that I would not be returning to work after my maternity leave after all. I was really nervous about doing this and it had been playing on my mind for some time. I was not due back until next month but I wanted to let him know as soon as possible (and not before he had sent me my last maternity pay check, which was the end of May!!) so I knew it was about time I let him know, to give him a bit more time to replace me. I thought he may have been a bit annoyed with me as he had paid out all that maternity pay to me (he can claim it all back of the government mind you, apart from the first six weeks I believe) but he was fine about it. I explained how the main reason was because of my mother-in-law being quite ill recently and not being up to looking after the two boys all day and how there was no-one else I could get to look after them and that a nursery would be too expensive when I would only be working part-time. He seemed very understanding about it, and made me realise that I need not have worried so much about his reaction. That is me all over, that phrase, "don't worry, it may not happen" is a phrase that I need to say to myself every-day because I am such worrier about what may happen and I always envisage the worst-case-scenario. My boss is in remission with lymphoma and that is, I guess, one of the reasons why I have been feeling so guilty about not returning to work and letting him down. It is difficult to tell from a 5-minute telephone conversation with someone, but I got the impression that he is a bit down emotionally. He still has a persistent cough and the prospect basically doesn't seem good for him. It is just awful cancer. I know so many people who have had it and it devastates lives - the people that have it as well as the loved ones left behind, I just wish there was an easy cure. I really hope that he will stay in remission for a long time, but I think we are all a bit sceptical that this will not be the case.

It sounds awful, but it really put things into perspective for me and made me feel a lot brighter about my life. It made me realise that I should make the most of all the good things that I do have instead of always thinking about what I don't have i.e. my mum. I lost my mum a year and a half ago now and it is still quite raw in my mind, but slowly over the last few weeks I feel it healing a little more. I do not have my mum in my life and she was one of my bricks and one of my bestest friends and I miss her more than I can explain. But I have to accept that she is gone. She is gone but I have my husband and my two sons, and my brother and my dad. They are the most important people to me and I think that is another reason why I am broody. I desperately want a daughter. I want to have a little girl so that I can hopefully have a relationship with her as special as what I had with my mum and at the moment I really miss having another close signicant other that is female. I have my aunty, my mum's sister, who is only nine years older than me. I was really close to her until she got together with this guy just after my mum went. It's a long story but we don't get on with him and it seems to have driven a wedge between us. She lost her mum (my Nanny) and her dad (my Grandad) in-between us losing mum so it has been a very difficult few years for us all. We should be there for one another as we are both going through the same thing, but we have drifted apart because of her new man, and I miss her a lot.

Re-claiming

This evening I did something I have not done since before I had my first-born nearly 3 years ago - I went swimming on my own! No big deal I know and I have done this at a weekend but never managed to get out in the evening before now. Normally I do not feel like it, I'm too tired and just want to slob in front of the TV with tea and chocolate! Up until the last few weeks my 9-month old had been sleeping in our bed and feeding constantly in the evenings so for me to get away would have been difficult. However, in the last 2 weeks he has begun to suddenly start eating properly and this must be satisfying him as he is going down in his cot and staying there all night! This sudden change has totally surprised hubby and me - and largely for the better. We get to re-claim all our bed space back and have more "us" time (but I find myself lying in bed not being able to sleep as I miss not having the the little one to cuddle!), and we also get our evenings free, hence my idea to start doing something fo me. I'm going to enrol at the gym and do that and swimming a few evenings a week. I do, after 3 years, finally feel like I need to do something for me that doesn't involve babies or children. I used to love going to the gym and swimming in particular and I think it is important to carry on doing things that you enjoy. I think it is as much about retaining your identity as a person in your own right - not just as a mother and wife, and that this is very important to your mental well-being as well as physical. I mean really I get enough exercise running around after my two toe-rags and I make a point of going out for a walk with them every day come rain or shine, so the gym is not just for fitness and health it's more about me doing something for me for once!

wordless wednesday again (where we went at the weekend)

My view on nappies...

I just wanted to tell you about the nappies that I use for my babes. When I had my first I bought the Bambino Mio re-usables with the intention of being all environmentally-friendly. Well, I didn't get on with them. My first-born although only 6lb 4oz when he was born (yet this was due to being induced 4 weeks early, bless him, because of pre-eclampsia) soon put on the weight and was a big baby. I think this may have been why the nappies did not quite fit properly and they were always leaking. I therefore gave up with them and then discovered Nature Babycare disposables. Now my first-born is nearly three and only wears a nappy at night. When my second-born came along I thought I would try the Bambino Mios again, and I have to say that I have had no problems with them this time around. My second-born is a fair bit smaller and they seem to fit him much better. However, I still use disposables at night time and I make a point of only using the Nature ones now due to the environmental factor as well as the belief they are better for my babes due to the natural materials and lack of chlorine used to produce them. I also like using re-usables as much as possible as my mum used "terry towels" when I was a baby and I like the idea of following on with this and doing the same for my babes.

In order for Nature Babycare to sell these nappies at a reasonable price to compete with the market leaders they do not spend millions on marketing and that is why I wanted to just give them a mention in my blog! I think they are becoming more well-known by word-of-mouth from other mums and just by conscious mums seeking alternatives. They are available in Waitrose (who also stock all their other products) and Sainsbury's and Tesco's have just started selling the nappies and wipes. I think all nappies should be natural like this. They do cost a couple of pounds more than the market leaders and a bit more again compared to the supermarket-own brands, but quite frankly, I think for piece of mind for your baby's well-being and the environment it is extra money well-spent.

Check out these links for further info:
http://www.naty.com/

http://www.bambinomio.com/

Playgroup

On a Monday afternoon I take my two boys to a local playgroup. We started going there when the babe was six weeks old and tot was just over two. It was mainly for tot's sake that we started going as he was getting to the age where he wanted to go out and do more things. He absolutely loves it, and this is what is making me doubt whether I should home-school him or not. He is a very sociable little thing and it is this that I worry he would miss out on if he were not to attend school. Anyway, back to playgroup...I love it too as I get to sit and have a coffee and chat to the other mums and spend some quality time with my second born who normally sits on my lap for the duration while the tot runs around the room with all the other tots! It is great for all of us and as monday morning frequently starts out a bit negatively - I always seem to be tired on a monday morning, probably from our busy weekend outings. But by the time we get back from playgroup I have a shattered but happy tot who goes down for a nap and I just feel more positive about everything again.

wordless wednesday

A new baby

It's 8.15pm and 27 degrees here - which is very warm for the UK! My best friend had a baby today! A little boy called Luca, 8lb 1 oz born a few days early at home. We are going to visit him on wednesday and it is already making me feel broody again - or maybe it's the weather?! I'm hoping that I will be able to conceive again soon, however, my baby is still feeding a lot. Although he is 9 months he does not eat many solids. He has never liked being spoon fed so he is a baby-led weaner - which basically means he only eats finger food/food that he can feed himself. This is great in terms of independence - he will skip the whole being fed stage - but not so good in the sense that he isn't filled up by food and still needs a fair bit of milk from me. However, the last week or so he has been going down in his cot around the same time his brother goes to bed about 8pm and staying there anytime from 2am til 4am. The ONLY thing that makes him sleep mind you in his cot on his own is the Radiohead album "In Rainbows" particularly the track Wierd Fishes/Arpeggio seems to soothe him. He has been so used to sleeping next to me that he always cries when he is left alone, we just discovered his love for Radiohead in Cornwall when I was too busy trying to get his brother off to sleep so his dad had to try and get him to sleep! So he is going longer without milk, but not long enough for me to be able to conceive again yet :( ! And maybe not as long as this hot weather lasts - it's too warm for him to sleep this evening and at the moment he is currently sitting on the floor by my feet giggling and chatting "mummas" and trying to get on the move while trying to chew on my big toe - happy days!

Potty Training

Potty training seems like such a big thing when you first start. Just the anticipation of it was stressing me out and after the first week I was really wondering how anyone became toilet-trained! We started with tot in January when he wa just under 2 and a 1/2. I had originally thought we would wait until he was around 3 but he started telling us when he had done a poo and we just felt that he was probably ready. Well, we started off with pull-up nappies and I just kept putting him on the potty every hour. This did not go too well as he just thought the pull-up was a nappy so he would sit on the potty then as soon as the pull-up was back up he would have his wee/poo. So we decided to bite the bullet and had a few days at home running aound bare-bottomed! It was exhausting. I was cleaning up pools of wee and mounds of poo and none was making it to the potty.

Around this time baby who was only 4 months got pneumonia. He needed a lot of attention and so potty training for tot was put on hold and he went into pull-ups.

In March we started again and ditched the pull-ups and got proper boys cotton pants. We had a few days where the pants and trousers were having to be changed 4-5 times a day with maybe only one success in the potty. During this time I would put him in a pull-up or cotton training pants (like reusable nappies - they are padded cotton to help absorb small accidents) whenever we went out to save the stress! After a few weeks we began to have more successes so that there was more going in the potty than in the pants and when we went out we would just take the potty everywhere (even in the bottom of the push chair and would be just removed and put on a pavement if a wee was needed!). We would still use pull-ups for nap times and nappies for bedtime. The only problem was that he wasn't telling us when he needed to go so it was up to us to remember to put him on the potty every hour or so - if we didn't remember then he would have an accident. So he had started to hold onto it until we put him on - which was good that he was showing control, but not good that he wasn't getting on the potty himself. For weeks and weeks it went on like this and although the accidents were down to once or twice a day - this was all dependent on us remembering to put him on the potty. This was beggining to stress me out as I could not always remember or I would be busy doing something like feeding baby. I would keep on at tot asking him if he needed the potty and telling him to sit on it at home and asking him to tell me if he needed it when we were out. I started to worry if he would ever become independent and do it for himself. It wasn't until June time that he started going and sitting on the potty at home without me prompting him. Then when we went out he started to tell us that he needed a "wee wee". I would keep asking him every now and then but gradually he started doing it more and more for himself. Then we went on holiday second week of June and stopped taking the potty out with us. He then got used to using a proper toilet (we would just hold him over public toilets so that he wasn't sitting on dirty seats), then he started having a few wees standing up outside (i.e. in bushes when a toilet was not available) and so progressed to using a toliet in the standing up position (I just hold him up as he is too short for most toilets!).

So now, after around 4 months of potty training I finally feel we are virtually there! With number twos he will trot around and sometimes sit on potty for himself but sometimes still wait for me to put him on - and very occassionally will still have accidents. He no longer has a pull-up on for his naps and more often than not his nappies are dry in the morning and he sometimes wakes up saying he needs a wee in the night so I think that before long we will have a fully toilet-trained tot.

I am very proud of him as there were times in the first few weeks that hubbie questioned if he was ready and thought we should put him back in nappies for a bit longer - don't know if it was my determined/stubborn nature that refused to admit defeat or my faith in my clever boy but I wasn't going to give up and I'm glad we didn't because finally we have done it - great teamwork as Bob the Builder would say!!

I wonder how interesting this post actually is but I think when you are a parent in this position you are looking for as much help and advice as you can get. I also think that it will be a good record for me as I imagine you forget very quickly and I'll be having to do it all over again in a year or so with the baby! My sister-in-law is planning on using a 3-day training technique - which I have never heard of and think that quite frankly sounds ridiculous. To expect a tot to be potty trained after three days is way too ambitious: day three we were lucky if we got a wee or two in the potty! I think you are just setting yourself up for failure and adding more stress to your plate. You need to try and relax about it - having strict targets is not a good idea, I think as long as you are seeing progress from one week to the next then in time they will get to grips with it - just be prepared and organised: be patient and have the disinfectant at hand!

Porthcurno Beach, Nr Land's End, Cornwall

We spent the Friday afternoon of our holiday here and ever since then I have been wishing we could be back there! It even prompted me into looking on fish 4 and right move for jobs and houses down there.

Conclusion: house - possibility ; job for Dave - nothing in the QS line, would have to re-train as a farmer or such like. I can dream though :)

School or Home-School?

On Tuesday we went to an open day at one of the local primary schools. I told tot that it was "big playgroup"! He seemed to like it and was intrigued by all the girls and boys dressed in uniform. I was quite impressed with the school, although it is the only one we have looked at so far so I have nothing to compare it against. The pupils were all very well behaved, everything was very organised and they have excellent resourses and lovely teachers.

The thing is I've had this idea for a while now that I want to home-school my children. However, I have a few doubts about this. Namely the social side of it and also worrying that I would not be teaching them properly. I have to get over the self-doubt though. I have a degree at the end of the day so surely with a bit of research I think I would be capable of teaching them to a high standard. Being at home would mean they get more one-to-one time and therfore have the potential to excel more than they would at school. I just don't want to feel lie they are "missing out" on anything though by not going to school. The tot's friends are now at pre-school and I already feel pressure to put him in and feel like he is missing out by not going. This school has excellent Ofsted reports and I was impressed with it, so I think that if I do send him to school this is likely to be the one - although there is another one that I need to see too. He would not start until 2011 so we have a while to decide, I'm just so unsure???

Not healthy bunnies

Well, it's Friday again and I seem to have spent the last week trying to recover from last weeks holiday! It doesn't help that I have come down with a nasty cold that I'm paranoid is swine flu (I'm sure it isn't). My 9-month old spent the weeks holiday with a tummy bug and this week with a temperature and cold. He has been the ultimate velcro baby, sleeping loads but wanting to be stuck to me otherwise. Meanwhile the tot is full of beans as usual, every day an adventure...so all in all I feel absolutely shattered!

The weather has been lovely (which makes the cold symptoms more of a mystery) and yesterday morning we went out to tot's favourite outdoor playground. We built sandcastles and pretended we were back on Porthcurno beach, then we had tea and cream cheese and cucumber sandwiches on the decking area of the cafe. By the afternoon it was sweltering so out came the paddling pool and I looked forward to a nice relaxing afternoon. However, as I was changing baby's nappy I noticed how dark his urine looked and how it may be infected so I rang the doctors who said to go and pick up a urine sample bag. So off we set to the doctors at 5pm when I was meant to be getting started on dinner. After a stop off at the shop we got home and did pizza and chips for tea with strawberries and strawberry cheescake Haagen Daz for dessert (which I stupidly put in the fridge instead of the freezer I realised this morning :( ) Anyway, managed to get some urine in the sample bag and dropped it back off at the doctors today. I'm a bit frustrated that it is a friday though and so will have to wait until monday for the results :(

Meanwhile I'm soldiering on with my usual cold treatments : nettle tea with manuka honey and lemon; effervescent vitamin C and some coffee to keep me awake! I hate feeling like this because I can't do as much with the tot. Normally I will take him out as well as reading books, drawing, painting etc. at home but at the moment I'm just encouraging him to sit in front of the TV when he's fed up of amusing himself in the garden. He is very good at occupying himself bless him, but it makes me feel so guilty :(

Cornwall, strange coincidences and the poor cat

I often wonder if you can have too much of a good thing. I also wonder if our holidays to Cornwall are jinxed in some way.

We had a lovely week away. Cornwall never disappoints me. The wonderful rugged coast land, the amazing beaches, the lush countryside and landscaped gardens, the little fishing villages as well as all the fun parks, farms, museums, art galleries and high standard restaurants and pubs: there is something for everyone.

However, my poor little one had a tummy bug for the whole of the week. Last year my other son had a bug for half the week we were there. I know that it is just a coincidence as my eldest caught it from his cousin who came with us last year and this year the little one came down with it the day after we got there so it was obviously something that he picked up before we went away. However, I can't help wondering why these things have happened at the same time. Then the monday we get back our neighbour's cat gets run over in the close. This is another strange coincidence as it was the monday that we got back from cornwall two years ago that our little girl cat got run over in the close. On monday the neighbour opposite was driving past our lounge window and braked suddenly. A minute later she was at our door and I could hear her asking my husband if we had a tabby cat. We have one tabby cat now (the little girl's brother, Thomas) and I just stood in the lounge frozen, my heart beating so fast - I thought that was it, we had lost our little boy too. I ran out the back door to try and compose myself and there was Thomas lounging on the patio table. I picked him up and gave him such a big hug he must have thought it was his birthday! Then my thoughts turned to my poor neighbour whose cat it was likely to be. His name was Max and he was only just over a year old. Yesterday morning they were out scrubbing the road, blood is such a difficult stain to remove. The mark on the road is a constant reminder, it keeps it fresh in your mind, until it fades and you hope the bad memories fade with it.

National Trust - Glendurgan Gardens, Cornwall

Amazing expanse of gardens and plants. There is a wonderful laurel maze that my 2-year old enjoyed getting lost in! You could walk around all day in this place! You can also gain access to the coastland - Durgan beach which presents a lovely view. There is a nice cafe next to the gardens (not NT) that serves all locally-produced food and drink and lovely Roskilly's organic ice cream (strawberries and cream is my tots favourite!).

National Trust - Trelissick Gardens, Cornwall

Lovely gardens, unfortunately the rain came down and we had to retreat to the tea room, which was delightful and it was worth the visit just to have lunch there!

National Trust - Stowe Gardens, Buckinghamshire

Lovely expanse of land dotted with monuments of interest. Good for walks and picnics.

National Trust - Wimpole Hall, Cambridgeshire

Wimpole Hall is on the Wimpole Estate that comprises of the hall, gardens and a working farm. My 2-year old loved the farm and we flew his kite on the lawn outside the hall (see pic). Plenty of park land for walking and tea room and shop. There is also a cafe at the farm along with an outdoor children's play area with toy tractors.

National Trust - Felbrigg Hall, Norfolk

The park and gardens were lovely although no children's play area. The courtyard which houses the cafe, restaurant and shop is lovely. We never made it into the hall itself as our boys were asleep in the buggy (which cannot be taken through the buildings).

National Trust - Canon's Ashby, Northamptonshire

Lovely house and church (not suitable for buggys). Picturesque landscaped gardens, but not much for children, a great tea room selling cream teas though.

National Trust - Calke Abbey, Derbyshire

Lovely house with a bizarre collection of stuffed animals. My two-year old loved exploring the house - especially the cellar tunnels which you are lead through at the end of the tour. Plenty of opportunity for walking in the lovely gardens, and also a welcome edition of an outdoor play area as well as a courtyard tea room and shop.

National Trust sites we've visited so far...Lyveden New Bield, Northants

Lyveden New Bield, Nr Oundle, Northamptonshire.

My sister-in-law was kind enough to give us a yearly membership to the National Trust as a Christmas present this year. We are really enjoying the tranquility of the gardens and feel the house tours are quite educational too! Am also loving the second hand bookshops some of the sites have and the tea rooms where a cream tea is always in order after a good walk, and of course I am enjoying lots of photo opportunities!

One sleep to go...

One sleep to go...until our holiday to Cornwall! We are staying in the same cottage that we went to last year and I sometimes day dream that we actually live there. It is a converted barn, so it retains original features such as beams yet has a gorgeous modern kitchen and wonderful layout. It has 4 bedrooms, two with en-suite, large kitchen with farmhouse-style table and separate utility area and secluded back garden as well as a spacious lounge. My brother and his girlfriend are coming with us so there will be plent of room and toddler gets to have his own room.

For hubby the holiday cannot come soon enough. He has been snowed under at work recently, often leaving for the office at 6.30am these past few weeks (which is ealy when it is only a 5-minute walk down the road!). He is hoping we will be able to nip off to the pub a few evenings a week and leave uncle and aunty on baby sitting duty (to get them some practice in as they are expecting a baby in December)! It is very rare for us to get any time out together without the boys. The last time we went out for a drink alone was over a year ago. I sometimes go swimming for an hour at the weekend on my own and that is the only time away I usually have from the boys.

Just the very act of getting ready for the holiday is making me feel as though I need one! So far I have packed the boys' clothes and mine; boys' toilettries (i.e bubble bath, shampoo, nappy cream and medicines just in case); stuff for swimming and beach (everything from wetsuits to bucket and spade and sun tent and beach ball); a big box of toys; box of groceries; and towels and bed linen for the cot (in the vain hope that baby will sleep in a cot and give us a bit of time-out!). Still to pack is hubbies clothes and our toliettries plus other last minute bits like a packed lunch for the boys and multi vitamins. Yesterday I cleaned the house (something my mum taught me - always leave the house clean when you go away) and got the cat's bowls and food ready (hubby's work mate is coming in to feed him). Then the final thing I need to do is to print off our itinerary for the week!

A typical day...

The day normally begins around 7am. Hubbie goes off to work so I have to get up as the toddler is roaming free downstairs and cannot be trusted for too long on his own. So I get up and shower and dress and go downstairs (normally leaving the 8-month old still sleeping soundly in the bed after a 6am feed). I say good morning to toddler and give him a hug and kiss I make coffee and fix a big bowl of cereal for me and a small bowl for him (usually cheerios or rice krispes or weetabix). Sometimes I bring him to the big table in the kitchen, sometimes we sit on the sofa and watch Nick Jnr or C-Beebies and until I have eaten and had some caffeine I am really not very chatty.


After that I have to decide whether to tackle tidying the dishes in the kitchen or taking toddler up to get washed and dressed. I normally opt for the latter and carry him up the stairs (although he is getting more and more independent by the day and likes to walk up the stairs himself - all be it a slow pace). As we get upstairs toddler runs around the landing screaming "I want to see Jakey" and jumps on the bed so baby is now awake and crying. I get baby up and top and tail and dress him, then dress toddler and carry them both downstairs. Baby then sits in his high chair and has his breakfast. He is a self-led weaner - which makes eating weetabix very messy. When he is done I pick him up at arms length and back upstairs he goes for a wash-down before returning downstairs to the lounge to play with toys with his brother. I then tackle the kitchen - breakfast mess and sometimes dishes from the day before; empty dishwasher, re-fill it with everything that can go in it (which is virtually everything except the chopping boards and unfortunately the high-chair!). Put on some washing and I try and get organised before the toddler starts upsetting the baby. I know he just wants to play but doesn't realise how careful he has to be with a baby i.e. rugby tackle style cuddles are not good for an 8-month old! By this time baby is getting fretful for some milk so I sit down and feed him and remind toddler to sit on his potty for a wee wee (we have been potty training for 3 months now and this week he has actually started to do it without any prompting and no accidents).


By now it is around 10am and baby is tired so we either go out in the car to the shops or out in the buggy down to the high street so that toddler can let off steam and baby can nap. Today was supermarket shopping so when we got back it was unpacking bags and putting away before a nappy change and time for lunch. Hubby arrives home for lunch and I manage to sit down for half an hour and eat a sandwich, normally while giving baby a quick feed. After lunch we go out for a walk while hubby goes back to work. Toddler needs a nap but keeps nagging to go to the park. We stop at the park and I push him on the swing for about 10 mins and then he goes down the slide about half a dozen times before I say we have to go. I walk round the long way home hoping that he will go off to sleep in the buggy - normally he does if he is tired enough (and he normally is as he gets up around 6am). I walk home and they are both asleep - bliss! However, baby is a very light sleeper and as soon as I try to start doing some housework he wakes up and so I have to sit and give him a quick feed. This then makes vacuuming more difficult as the sound upsets him and so that is then put on hold for another day. If I have the energy then the battleground of toys in the lounge are tidyed up a bit while the toddler sleeps and then it's time for a coffee and a sit down to check e-mails. Then it's time to get the load of washing out and hung up (either in the garden or upsairs depending on the weather) another nappy change and decide what to do for dinner, by which time toddler is waking up. When he wakes I get him a drink and a snack and sit and read some books to him.


By 5pm I have to make a start on dinner so I hope that the boys play nicely in the lounge. Sometimes I have to put the baby in his bumbo or high chair in the kitchen so that I can keep an eye on him and he will chew on a biscuit until it is time for dinner. Hubby arrives home just before 6 and will play with toddler for a while - normally with the train track or cars. About 6.30pm we all sit down to eat. I still have to feed toddler a lot of the time, while baby will not be spoon-fed so all his food gets put straight onto his high chair table and he picks it up and eats it himself. After dinner hubby takes toddler up for his bath and I sit with baby while he finishes his dinner. When he is finished I take him upstairs to join his brother in the bath and they both get their pyjamas on ready for bed. We all come downstairs and watch TV or read books for a short while. Around 7.30/8pm I take toddler up to bed. He has a real routine that he does not like to waiver from. He sits on his potty for his final wee wee (or poo poo) and then I put a nappy on him. He has a solar night light ladybird so he has to put him on the radiator and put his cup of water down by his bed; he then goes and closes the stair gate that is at the top of the stairs (he doesn't realise that I will be opening it again to get down the stairs once he is asleep!); he then closes his bedroom door and gets into bed; I always say "night night sweetpea, we've had a busy day, love you very much" and if I don't say the busy day bit then he will say it instead; I then have to give him some milk for 15 mins, then I pull him off and tell him I have to go and see his brother and I blow kisses to him from the door and he blows them back and then he turns to the wall and goes to sleep. I then go back downstairs by which time baby is hungry and very tired. I sit and feed him and he falls asleep in my arms. Hubby carries him up to his cot where he will sometimes sleep for a few hours. More often than not though he will sleep for an hour and then cry and sit with us in the lounge until we go to bed around 10.30pm where he sleeps with hubby and I in our bed. This is a typical day for me.

My time

I have been keeping a blog for my son who is nearly 3 and have recently added his 8-month-old brother's name onto the blog so that they can 'share' it! Of course it is me who is composing the posts for them at them moment but I'd like to think that perhaps in years to come they will enjoy looking back on it and maybe start posting themselves! I wanted to have my own blog so that I can note down my feelings or thoughts on everything that is going on in my life. Most of my life does revolve around my two boys, but I think it is nice for me to be able to have this blog as MY blog to do with as I wish! One of my friends who is due to give birth any day now to her second has been saying how we have to go for a girly night out of drinking and letting our hair down soon. For the last 3 years now we have both been taking it in turns to be pregnant and therefore haven't been able to go out and both get drunk together! She said how she still thinks it is so important that she does this, to have some "me" time, to remember what her needs and likes are instead of always thinking of what is best for everyone else. I agree, but that is easier said than done when there are constant demands made on you. There is always something that needs to be done whether it be a nappy change, feed, tidy-up of the kitchen, washing, cooking, more cleaning, bathing, shopping, organising toys, reading/activities with the boys...every day the routine runs so that there is very little time left in the day for me to do anything else. As for going out drinking for an evening - that is difficult when you have a breastfed baby who will not sleep in his cot and is demand fed every 2 hours on average in the evenings; combine that with a 32-month old who will only go to bed if his mummy lies down with him for approximately 20 minutes. By the time I have done all that in a day I just want my cup of tea and chocolate and some soaps on TV!