Continuum

I have stopped feeding during the day this week. My baby is 10-months old now, crawling and eating three meals a day. He was having a quick milk feed mid-morning and mid-afternoon just to get him off to sleep really. I have tried replacing this with a little formula milk but he is not at all keen on this so I just try to keep him topped-up with fluids during the day with well-diluted juice - which he will drink when thirsty. He is constipated though and has been for weeks despite the fluids and frest fruit so I went to the pharmacy and got him some lactulose yesterday - which is still yet to have an effect as I have only been giving him very small amounts. So he now has a milk feed at bedtime and in the morning. Tot still has his bedtime feed (need to get out of this habit - he is 3 soon - have no idea how though without upsetting him) but he has cut out his morning one and the ocassional afternoon one now. For a few months now I have been thinking about number three. A few weeks ago I started feeling really broody with friends and family announcing that they are expecting and decided to try and cut down the feeding to re-start ovulation. Then I though back to Liedloff's Continuum Concept that I read recently and how in modern society we are in such a hurry with getting our baby to move on to the next stage of development: weaning onto solids as soon as possible; urging them to crawl and proudly commenting how it won't be long before they are walking. It made me realise just how much my baby has grown and changed in just 10 months, and it made me realise how I should try and live in the moment more and enjoy this time instead of urging him to become more independent. So I sat back and thought about it and decided that I should try and let him take the lead more and let him decide when it is time. He has adapted well to no milk during the day as he only really used it as a comfort to get to sleep. I still find this really hard though as I have always just gone with demand feeding all the time with both my boys (hence the reason why my nearly 3-year old is still being breatfed at bedtimes!), so this part of it feels a little like I am going against the continuum. However, with everything else I have let him take the lead: he has decided to be spoon-fed after being baby-led for the first few months. He is therefore eating a really good amount now. He has decided to crawl and is trying the cruising out and he is happy to go down in his cot through the night now after 9 months of sleeping with mummy and dadddy. Now that he has made these changes reecently it does make me feel like he is almost not a baby anymore and entering into the realms of toddlerhood. This has again made me think about number three so I have decided that I will try and cut the milk down, but not so much that it is denying my boys of what they still need. This feels like a bit of a challenge sometimes but I just keep reminding myself of the continuum concept and trying not to compare myself to others or get irrational just because I am turning 30 this year and feel like time is running out! I really want to "talk in present tenses" to quote a Joni Mitchell song but I find this so difficult as I am a worrier and a bit of a control-freak!